


Much Ado About Everything

by duckiesinaline



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Assumptions, BAMF Original Percival Graves, Bamf theseus scamander, Blimps & Dirigibles, Dragons, Explosions, First Meetings, Gen, Language, Michael Bay sized, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Rescues, World War I, germans, there be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 14:57:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13056315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duckiesinaline/pseuds/duckiesinaline
Summary: The town was so small, there was only one street worth the designation, running straight down its center. Rough-cobbled, it was more hazardous to walk on than the packed dirt of the alleys running off from it; Theseus had nearly turned his ankle several times in just a single morning’s navigation.But no one was in danger of falling over at the moment, though the entire town’s residents and visitors - all three score of them - had turned out. Everyone stood perfectly still with heads tipped back, staring up at the shadow eclipsing the westering sun.“Fuck, that’s big.”Theseus dropped his gaze; surprised by the English, surprised even more by the flat, American pronunciation of it. A fellow stood an arm’s length away, dressed in the same peasant’s wear as most of the locals, but with the straight back and squared shoulders of someone who did something other than toil in fields or over handcrafts for a living. “First time seeing a zeppelin?”





	Much Ado About Everything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [clockheartedcrocodile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockheartedcrocodile/gifts).



> My gift for clockheartedcrocodile's request during the Fantastic Beasts Secret Santa! ^_^ The original prompt:
> 
> "I'm a big fan of both WWI history and Wizarding history, so I'd love something with Percival and Theseus fighting together in the war, despite their differing nationalities."

The town was so small, there was only one street worth the designation, running straight down its center. Rough-cobbled, it was more hazardous to walk on than the packed dirt of the alleys running off from it; Theseus had nearly turned his ankle several times in just a single morning’s navigation.

But no one was in danger of falling over at the moment, though the entire town’s residents and visitors - all three score of them - had turned out. Everyone stood perfectly still with heads tipped back, staring up at the shadow eclipsing the westering sun.

“Fuck, that’s big.”

Theseus dropped his gaze; surprised by the English, surprised even more by the flat, American pronunciation of it. A fellow stood an arm’s length away, dressed in the same peasant’s wear as most of the locals, but with the straight back and squared shoulders of someone who did something other than toil in fields or over handcrafts for a living. “First time seeing a zeppelin?”

The man started at Theseus’ question, a dark, sharp gaze darting toward him. A cap was pulled low over his brow, but beneath the edges was black hair cropped close, prematurely graying at the temples. “Yes. They come here often?”

Theseus shrugged, an easy roll of his shoulders. “Wouldn’t know. I’m just as much of a visitor as I wager you are.”

A wary pause, and then the man smiled, the expression just as empty as Theseus’ response. “As you say.” A last glance up at the torpedo-shape gradually casting them into shadow, and then the American simply turned away and slipped through the gawping people.

He had just as carefully asked no questions on origin, identity, or purpose. Theseus sucked thoughtfully on his lower lip. Two years into the war, and muggle and magical Americans alike were still studiously sticking to their stance of neutrality - was that about to change?

But then he, too, looked up at the blimp, and picked his way down the uneven street, the encounter soon forgotten under much larger concerns.

* * *

 

In the grander scheme of things, a lieutenant colonel usually didn’t rank high enough for the level of scrutiny Theseus had given the German officer the past two weeks. To be honest, Theseus wasn’t usually inclined to scrutinize anything - just witness his impulsive, headlong dive into the war efforts the past year.

But Oberstleutnant Anselm Koch was frighteningly well-connected - enough to be heard directly by German High Command, if rumors were to be believed - and the muggle British codebreakers claimed Koch possessed copies of orders that were absolutely crucial to obtain. They had been frustratingly - but predictably - ambiguous about the contents, but Theseus thought he had finally identified them and where they were kept.

Unfortunately, the arrival of the zeppelin meant that he was nearly out of time to act.

Koch apparently had something pretty exciting if someone had sent a zeppelin to fetch him. The blimp wouldn’t stay long; their movements were a little too easy to track. Already, the news of its arrival had no doubt spread through the countryside via the ubiquitous network of local gossip. It would probably wait only until full dark before taking off again, its ultimate destination hidden by the night.

_That’s not enough time for us to reach you, Theseus._

_Of course it is,_ he scrawled back on the page, squinting to read in the shadow of a truck he had taken shelter behind. The zeppelin’s mooring site - an open field left fallow for the season - had become an alien landscape of harsh shadows and actinic lights once evening had fallen. _Especially since you won’t need to reach me. I’ll just be one person sneaking in and out, rather than an entire flight engaging in a full-frontal attack._

 _Just hold your position for one hour,_ the words bled onto the page like particularly organized inkblots. _Just give us one extra hour, please._

 _Sorry,_ he penned back, his letters flattening to near-illegibility as he hurried through the last words. _I think they’re already prepping to go._

With some regret, he snapped the small leather diary closed before a response could arrive, shoving it into the inner pocket of his jacket. But what he had written even happened to be the complete truth this time rather than his typical hedging; he could hear the change in pitch of the zeppelin’s engines as they started warming up from idle.

Theseus wound a Disillusionment charm around himself before he snuck away from the vehicle.

The field had become a hive of orderly activity as supplies were loaded into the zeppelin’s cabin and crews readied the aircraft for launch. Its pale bulk loomed far overhead, underlit by the artificial lights set around the perimeter, dwarfing all beneath. The approach of vehicles were nearly lost beneath the hum of its motors; secure in his spell, Theseus simply made sure that he was not in a position for someone to accidentally bump into him. Then he hunkered down to wait.

Three sleek cars pulled up to the edge of the field, disgorging smartly uniformed officers and attaches. Koch with his too-sharp chin and long face was immediately recognizable beneath his officer’s cap, carrying a leather briefcase; one that he handed to a young aid, who immediately began scurrying toward the zeppelin while the lieutenant colonel delayed to have a few last words with his officers.

Theseus felt his lips peel back in a feral grin as he began angling to intercept the attache. This was going to be too easy …

_“Halt! Ich sagte Halt oder du wirst erschossen werden!”_

Theseus froze, heart leaping into his throat. He had picked up enough German by now to understand the command, and his hand tightened on his wand even as he glanced frantically down at himself … and blinked, finding that the Disillusionment was still in place. Which meant that the German couldn’t possibly be referring to him, which meant -

The unmistakable crack of a firearm and then a distinctly American voice shouted, “Alright, alright, you made your point, I’m stopping now!”

Theseus stared, disbelieving, as a commotion began at the edge of the mooring site’s pool of lights and rolled toward the center. By the time the knot of bodies had resolved into a sullen American marched at gunpoint in a ring of half a dozen guards, all the officers and their aids had gathered to receive them - including the one who carried the case that most likely held the plans Theseus was after.

Cursing blisteringly beneath his breath, Theseus edged his way closer to hear what was said.

“Hey, easy, I don’t understand German - I don’t know what you’re saying - !” the American protested until a kick to the back of a leg sent him to his knees with a grunt. Glaring over his shoulder, only a sharp jab of a rifle to the back of his head made him face forward again as Koch approached.

“An American, sent to spy on us?” the Oberstleutnant pronounced in heavily accented but grammatically perfect English, one gloved hand held out to receive the personal effects that the guards had seized. There was precious little; just some local currency, a compass, a canteen, and a nub of a pencil.

The man’s lip curled, but then seemed to rethink his belligerence as he eyed the circle of firearms around him. “Yes, I’m American, but I’m no spy. I was just visiting a friend, and then decided to take a walk. I’ve never been to Europe.”

“A walk in the countryside,” Koch began in a seemingly reasonable tone as he handed the items back to the guard, “in the dark, lurking about the edges of a clear military operation. You do not even have so much as a map on you. What is your name?”

The American hesitated, licked his lips, then warily said, “Groves. Perry Groves.”

“Mister Groves. Who is this friend that you are visiting?”

Now Groves frowned, looking genuinely unsettled. “I think that’s none of your business.”

Koch didn’t answer immediately; just unsnapped the flap over his sidearm and drew it to press the barrel against the center of Groves’ forehead. “You are only as useful to me as your answers,” he said. “If they cease to satisfy me, I will leave you behind in this field with a hole in your head. You are the second American that I now have in my care. Did you, perhaps, come for the other one?”

Theseus rocked back on his heels in surprise. A second American? When Groves didn’t do more than grit his teeth and bow his head in mixed resignation and acknowledgment, Theseus rubbed a hand over his face with a muttered oath.

It made sense. If Groves was a spy, Theseus would eat his boots and hold the salt. Groves had been here for something else entirely, and stuck out like a sore thumb in every way that mattered. But now Theseus’ task had become an order of magnitude more complicated. While the orders were still his top priority, he couldn’t in good conscience leave Groves behind either. Looking around to see what he could use as a distraction, Theseus snuck toward the edge of the field, moving quickly out of earshot of the interrogation.

Fire was easy and always a guaranteed magnet for attention. A cover crop had not been laid down yet, for the dirt was still mostly bare and only a few intrepid outbreaks of weeds had managed to take hold. But it was enough plant matter to start a clearly visible flame once he had dried them out first with a muttered spell.

It didn’t take long at all for someone to notice.

 _“Feuer! FEUER!”_ came the increasingly frantic calls.

The seemingly disproportionate panic over what was a relatively small blaze reminded Theseus abruptly of the zeppelins’ reputation as being highly flammable. Wincing, he paused only long enough to check that what he had started truly wouldn’t get out of control, before quickly hurrying back to Koch and Groves’ position.

The guards were already herding the officers to the zeppelin amidst shouts to cast off. Groves was being forced along, though the two groups had a growing gap between them. Theseus grimaced again at the thought of what it would take for the Ministry of Magic to cover up what he was about to do, but he couldn’t allow either the papers or Groves to board the aircraft without risking losing them completely. Taking a deep breath and rapidly reviewing the string of spells he would have to fire off in the next few seconds, he raised his wand.

As neat a Confundus as he had ever cast slipped between two bodies to strike the aid with the briefcase. The attache stumbled to a halt, vacant-eyed and slack-jawed, left behind by the others when Theseus followed up with the lightest touch of a look-away at his compatriots. Before Groves’ group could notice the lost sheep, Theseus sent three Stunners, rapid-fire, at each of the guards, praying that the electric lights around them drowned out the bright splash of the spell.

Groves tripped to a halt as three bodies crumpled to the ground around him. He was still staring, hands on his head, after Theseus had snatched the case from the Confunded attache and then banished his Disillusionment to seize one of the American’s elbows with his wand hand. “Come on!”

“What - who are you?” Groves demanded, eyes wide.

“I’ll explain later,” Theseus growled, tugging sharply at the man. The shouting had gone beyond just fire containment now; it seemed luck hadn’t been with him and his efforts had been noticed. “Now let’s go!”

But Groves dragged at him, heels digging in, expression wild. “No - where did you come from? You just appeared out of thin air!”

“I’m staging a rescue and you’re asking me where I - “ Theseus spluttered. “Merlin’s beard, just pretend I’m an angel sent from your God if you need to, just move!” he shoved bodily at the man.

Groves flailed, shying away from the contact, nearly knocking the wand from his hand. Theseus let the man go with a curse and, deciding that a Stunner and a Levicorpus was the better part of valor and their continued freedom, raised his wand.

Three flat cracks echoed across the field. Something kicked up the dirt past their feet, and they both ducked, but not before Theseus felt a burning line zip across his arm. Startled, his fingers spasmed.

He dropped his wand.

Looking back, it was probably one of his more embarrassing moments. Hardly a flesh wound and he had lost his weapon like a raw recruit. Even as he dove for it in the dirt, he could tell he had run out of time.

“Raise that again and both of you are dead.”

Theseus froze, hand on his wand in the dirt, and looked up slowly to see Koch staring back with a line of raised muzzles from officers and guards alike arrayed around him. Gritting his teeth, Theseus opened both hands and slowly raised them above his head.

* * *

 

Theseus shivered. His arm throbbed hot where the bullet had winged him but the rest of him had chilled, sitting upon steel decking while the zeppelin rose and the air grew bitingly cold.

Perry Groves was arrayed in like position next to him, hands tied behind his back, gaze fixed resolutely upon a blank spot before him. For all his panicked flailing earlier, the American seemed oddly complacent with his situation now. The four guards arrayed in the corners of the windowless room stood in relaxed stance, one of them yawning outright, while two had been debating for a good amount of time what the new weapon was that Theseus had been armed with.

To occupy himself, Theseus had tried to come up with wild and increasingly unlikely scenarios for extracting himself, but had finally settled on simply learning if he could nap while sitting upright when the door rattled and swung open. There was a snap of heels as the guards came to abrupt attention, and three people entered.

The first, incongruously, was a young woman; brunette hair trimmed short into a now-mussed bob, dressed roughly in what was obviously borrowed men’s clothing, hands tied before her. She was shoved through the narrow doorway by another of the ubiquitous guards, before Koch brought up the rear, closing the door behind him with a clank.

Theseus struggled to his feet on pins-and-needles legs. In the corner of his eyes, Groves echoed his movement.

“The situation is becoming more and more interesting, Mr. Groves,” Koch pronounced, reaching to the side of his belt and sliding out the two slender lengths of wood pinned beneath it. Theseus felt his breath catch when he realized that one was his wand - and the other was also recognizably someone else’s wand. As his eyes flicked toward the woman now sullenly glaring at the Oberstleutnant, Koch continued, “This was confiscated from Ms. Kelly here, and now it seems the British have it also. What is it?”

“How would I know?” Groves said warily, glancing between Koch and Kelly. “As you say, you found it on them, not me.”

“So you deny any acquaintanceship with her? With your compatriot here, who came to your rescue?”

“Now hold on here, just because of some unfortunate timing, I wouldn’t claim to be compatriots -  “ Theseus began to protest when a sharp jab to the left his spine punched the rest of the breath out of him.

At Koch’s leisurely wave to continue, Groves swallowed and confirmed, “It’s true. I never laid eyes on him until today. I don’t even know his name.”

“Ah, names. I don’t put too much stock by names in this business, Mr. Groves,” Koch mused as  he reached for one of the guards’ sidearm instead of his own Luger - and the intent became chillingly clear when he broke open the revolver, removed a single shell, and let the rest clatter to the deck. “Words, in general, I find very … malleable. Take, for instance, the American stance of neutrality in this war.” He re-inserted the cartridge, and then snapped the cylinder closed. He then very deliberately met Groves’ eyes as he gave the cylinder a spin. “Americans, who sell munitions to the British and their allies. An American, carrying an unknown weapon, that also happens to be carried by another British agent, who attempted to come to your rescue. Yourself, attempting to infiltrate a German operation. Tell me, does that sound like neutrality to you?”

Groves’ jaw tightened as his gaze flicked between the triangle of Koch, Kelly, and Theseus. “Sorry, politics isn’t my strong suit.”

Koch hummed thoughtfully … and then casually pointed the pistol at Kelly’s head. She flinched, audibly sucking in a breath. “Then let me put it in simpler terms for you. I think that the American neutrality is a sham, and that it is high time they actually joined the war, or withdrew in truth. You two will be more than enough evidence to convince the kaiser and the last of the more stubborn fools in high command that American assets should be legitimate targets. Meanwhile, knowledge of this new weapon and, perhaps, learning to both counter it and manufacture it for ourselves, could buy me a general’s title. In exchange, you will all get to live. Is that easy enough for you, now?”

Groves’ eyes were fixed upon Kelly and the gun even as he stuttered, “L-look, there’s no need to threaten her, I’ll tell you everything I know, it’s just not what you think - “

“What were you after?” Koch asked.

“Hey,” Theseus said, keeping a wary eye on the guards behind him, “he doesn’t know anything, I was just trying to do my good deed. If you want to know something useful, I can cut you a - “

_Click!_

Kelly jumped with a startled sound, face gone paper-white, eyes huge and blank as she stared at the end of the muzzle. Koch made a show of cocking the hammer back again. “That was the first warning. You potentially have four warnings left. What is the nature of these new weapons?”

“I don’t know anything, alright!” Groves shouted. “You sick bastard, there’s no use in - “

“They’re incendiary devices!” Theseus babbled, racking his brain for the proper muggle terms even as he tried to prepare himself mentally to throw up some sort of wandless shielding. “Just give it a shake, I’ll show - “

“Shut up!” came from an unexpected quarter, as Groves shoved his shoulder hard into Theseus’. “Haven’t you don’t enough, just shut up and - “

_Click!_

This time Kelly sobbed, eyes squeezed shut, tears gathering on her lashes while Koch continued inexorably, “Why is she so important?”

Two guards had stepped forward to pull Theseus and Groves apart, but Groves continued to struggle futilely, his yells nearly incoherent as he tried to kick out at Theseus. Theseus leaned back to fend it off with a knee, the guard behind him grunting as he was forced to take Theseus’ weight. “What the bloody hell is wrong with you, you bloody wanker - “

_Click!_

“Percy, please!” Kelly cried, and Koch’s head swiveled toward her.

“Percy, you say?” he mused.

And then the room was abruptly filled with the deafening rattle of gunfire.

“Incoming!” Groves screamed as he dove for the ground.

In hindsight, it made absolutely no sense that there would be incoming aircraft fire that could have filled the room like that, but the tension had shattered into chaos nevertheless. Theseus dove toward the deck out of pure reflex while the Germans shouted and Kelly screamed, and he only managed to notice that one of the guards actually was slumped in a corner, groaning, as if he had been hit when there was a _pop!_ and fizzle and the room was abruptly cast into pitch darkness.

There was another crack of a firearm going off and the pings of its ricochet before Koch was screaming at his men to cease fire. Somebody tangled a fist in the back of Theseus’ collar, and he swung back with an elbow after a flick of magic cut his bindings, when Groves’ voice hissed in his ear, “Cover your eyes and ears.”

Theseus had been in the field long enough to not question warnings like that, even if they came from questionable sources. He barely had a chance to plant his face against the deck and wrap his arms over his head before the equivalent of a flashbang exploded in the middle of the room. Screams and the muffled thud of bodies hitting the walls and decking sounded around them, and then the fist was hauling him up by the back of his shirt. “Go go go!”

Theseus rammed his shoulder painfully into the door before he managed to paw the latch open and he, Groves, and Kelly spilled out into the corridor beyond. Groves immediately turned, gestured with his hand, and two wooden lengths flew into his grasp before he slammed the door closed and thrust Theseus’ wand at him. “Weld it shut!”

“You fucking wanker!” Theseus snarled even as he snatched his wand back and slapped a sticking charm onto the latch. “You’re a wizard!”

“Percy!” Kelly cried, throwing her arms around the American wizard and knocking him back a step. “Oh Merlin, why are you - how did you know to find me?”

“Later, Lizzy,” Groves said, not ungently, but he was quickly slipping out of her grasp and taking her hand instead to lead her away from the room. “Come on, there might be parachutes aboard for emergencies. But if there’s not, you might have to help me take the control room - “

“Help you take - “ Theseus sputtered, then realized, “Where’s your own wand?”

Groves scowled darkly at him, all his early gawpishness gone. “This isn’t the time for this.”

“And you might need to take over the control room,” Theseus pointed out smartly. “You’ve got what you came for. I still need to get what I came here for. Now, I’ll let slide that I tried to save you - “

“Save - !” Groves exclaimed with an affronted glare, “You nearly ruined everything!”

“ - and you actually did ruin everything for me! But you help me find what I’m looking for and I’ll help you take the control room.”

“Oh for Isolde’s sake, we’re not bargaining at a flea market!” Groves growled. “And what if I just take the parachutes and jump?”

“There are no parachutes.”

Groves stared. “I don’t believe you.”

Theseus arched a brow. “And who knows more about zeppelins?”

Kelly’s gaze had swung worriedly between them with each exchange before she finally set a hand gently upon Groves’ sleeve. “Percy, please … maybe we should stick together. Especially if you don’t have your wand with you.”

Groves tried to level the same glower upon Kelly, but then grimaced and finally conceded inelegantly, “Fine. It’s that briefcase, isn’t it? That you took from the aid, earlier.”

Theseus nodded. “Most likely in one of the staterooms, where Koch had been staying. Come on, I know roughly where it should be, but it’ll be faster with several of us to search.”

It was indeed quick work. Except that they hadn’t been able to knock out all the crew without incident. One lucky and mercenary-minded soul had abandoned his companion to Theseus’ Stunner to dive down a side corridor. Before Theseus could even reach the same intersection, a broadcast system crackled to life and panicked German was echoing throughout the airship.

“Bugger,” Theseus hissed, abandoning the idea of chasing the man down and motioning for the others to follow him.

Kelly found the briefcase in the second room they searched, tucked in the narrow space between wall and bunk. Theseus cheerfully scooped up his belongings when he found them simply lying on the desk, as if Koch had been examining them before his visit. He spared the time to flip through the diary - spelled so that it showed only uninteresting daily reports of the weather to the unauthorized - and grinned fiercely at what he found before stuffing everything back into his pockets. “Alright, time to go. We have to hurry,” he began to hustle Kelly out, just as there was another shout outside and then the now-familiar sounds of bodies hitting an unyielding surface.

Groves, who had been standing watch, dropped his hands just as they exited. Opposite him, two soldiers lay crumpled at the bottom of a bulkhead. “They’ll be securing the control room after that warning,” he said flatly, clearly unhappy.

“No worries,” Theseus declared jauntily, “we don’t need to go that way anyway. Come on.”

A wrinkle appeared between Groves’ brows, and his look of honest bewilderment had Theseus nearly laughing out loud. “We’re not?” And then the suspicion was back as the impressive eyebrows snapped down again. “You were lying about the parachutes, weren’t you?”

“No, I was not lying about the parachutes, just trust me,” Theseus rolled his eyes as he herded them toward the stern.

“Why should I trust you?” Groves demanded.

“You have thus far, haven’t you? And you’re still alive,” Theseus retorted, pushing them faster as the clomp of bootheels began to get louder.

Groves was still grumbling when they shouldered open an outside hatch, and stumbled out onto a small, open deck. Kelly uttered a dismayed sound at the cold wind that immediately whipped at them, shrinking in on herself. Groves wrapped an arm around her shoulders as he hunched his back against the worst of the gusts. “What now?” he demanded.

Theseus tugged them toward the railing. “I’m waiting for the signal.”

“What signal?”

Theseus held up a hand for patience ... just before a stentorian roar seemed to shake the very plates of the deck beneath them.

“That one,” he declared, and shoved all three of them over the railing just as the hydrogen cells of the zeppelin exploded.

* * *

 

“Fucking dragons.”

Groves had an impressively stoic demeanor. It was only because Theseus had seen the man when he _really_ had a hold of himself that he could even tell how shocky the man was.

“Dragons,” he confirmed amiably. He didn’t bother trying to hide how much he was enjoying the American’s discombobulation. He bloody well deserved it.

“And your baby brother,” Groves uttered like a curse. Still looking a little white around the eyes, he stopped a passing corpsman with a peremptory finger pointed at the cigarettes lined up in the man’s breastpocket. The corpsman handed one over without protest, and Groves tried to aim a flick of a fingernail at the end.

It took him two tries to manage it with his hands’ shaking, and his first draw ended in hacking coughs.

“Do you even know how to smoke?” Theseus said with false sympathy, giving the man a friendly whack between the shoulderblades.

Groves staggered with another cough and glared at him before taking a more careful drag. “I hate the smell and the aftertaste is awful.” He took two more steps and then simply dropped for a seat upon a row of duffels laid out by supplies. “But it seems the thing to do when you’ve been dropped over the side of an airship thousands of feet above the ground only to become the ball in a game of catch with dragons.”

“You’ve trusted me thus far, haven’t you? And you’re still alive,” Theseus repeated with a grin as he sat down beside him, and then said, “So. Perry Groves.”

Groves exhaled through his nose, smoke pluming from his nostrils as if he were just as much dragon as the beasts they had ridden in on. “Percival Graves,” he admitted, switching the cigarette to his left hand to hold out his right. “I’m not used to undercover work. It seemed best if I chose something close to what I would normally answer to.”

“Theseus Scamander,” he took the other’s hand in a firm grip, intentionally holding it as he peered at the American. “Graves. I’ve heard about them. What’s a Graves doing out here?”

“And I’ve heard about Theseus Scamander,” Graves saluted wryly with two fingers. “Just a rescue mission. Plain and simple.”

“A rescue mission,” Theseus echoed skeptically. “Alone. Without your wand.”

Graves gestured vaguely with the smoke. “You know. American neutrality and all. If I’m here as a, what do you call them, muggle? Then I better not mess it up for our fellow non-magical Americans. Maybe you Europeans aren’t as strict about the no-maj no-mix policy, but it’s a good habit for me to maintain, keeping magic out of things.”

“Keeping magic out of things!” Theseus snorted. “What did you call that little display of yours back on the airship? That was bloody impressive work!”

Graves paused and then laughed outright. Suddenly, all the lines around his mouth and eyes that had seemed so stern before were transformed into cheeriness. “This?” he asked disbelievingly, and with a flick of his fingers, the cigarette was suddenly in his other hand. “This is just a parlor trick,” he chuckled, making the smoldering remains jump back and forth between his fingers. “I used to entertain my little sister like this all the time over the summers. We don’t get to keep our wands away from school, you know. Every student of Ilvermorny has their own little stable of wandless magic tricks they can do. Now, setting off that bullet I stole from Koch's revolver without losing my fingers and then multiplying the sound? Now _that’s_ something to be impressed by.”

Theseus shook his head slowly. “Un-bloody-believable. So why go through all the trouble?”

Graves shrugged a shoulder as he took one more drag and then stubbed the butt out on his shoe. “I owed a favor. Her brother saved my life once, while I was still new to the Auror business. She didn’t agree with the official neutrality stance and came over on a mission of mercy when she got rounded up with a bunch of other POWs. Her brother’s too high ranked now in MACUSA to just up and take a leave of absence for something like this. I volunteered.”

Theseus eyed the man sidelong, letting the silence stretch a moment before he nodded. “Well. I’d have you at my back anyday, Percival Graves.”

Graves glanced up, looking honestly surprised, before the corners of his eyes crinkled in the hints of a smile. “Likewise.”

“Though we really need to work on better cover stories for you. You could have at least pretended to be a Brit.”

“I sound like I’m mentally handicapped when I try to put on another accent, and getting myself captured was the fastest way I could think of to reach her!” Graves protested. “And then you came along and nearly botched it all up!”

“You pretended to be a muggle! You even made all the stupid muggle faces when I Disillusioned myself! You could have just told me to bugger off!”

“Just how much time do you think there was between your Stunning the guards and when the others started shooting at us?! I’m glad I didn’t pretend to be a Brit if they’re all as blockheaded as you are!”

“Well, I lied about the parachutes!” Theseus declared proudly.

Half an hour later, Newt had to nearly strip the top layer of skin off Theseus with a Scouring spell in order to get the last of the dragon dung smell out.

**Author's Note:**

> Supposedly, from my (very shallow) research, America didn't enter the war even after some German attacks led to collateral American casualties, until Germany basically declared open season on all naval targets - even American ones - and the British revealed leaked plans of the Germans reaching out to Mexico for a joint attack on the US.
> 
> The Germans supposedly voted to attack American targets after arguments were made that America wasn't truly neutral since they sold munitions to the Allies, overriding the Kaiser and his supporters' stance that they shouldn't provoke America.
> 
> Russian Roulette wasn't known by that name until a story in the 1930's, but the general concept had come from a short story dated in the late 1800s.
> 
> In my headcanon, this Mr. Kelly was so impressed by Graves' spirit and results, that he threw his considerable influence behind Graves and helped him achieve directorship a few years later.


End file.
